Mary Ricksen

My Photo
Name: Mary Ricksen
Location: West Palm Beach, FL, United States

I moved to Florida in 1980. I was born in Vt., but it's cold sooo long, I'll settle for scenic North Carolina. I enjoy the change of seasons. Spring, summer, winter, and fall, all have such a unique flavor; here it's just too subtle. I loved to ride horses more than anything. My dog Junior is a character in my first book, and there will be more of my pets in my next book. We moved a lot when I was young, from Canada to New York, and from Texas, to Florida. I met all kinds of people, and I find that the more rural it is, the more friendly people are. I have been married for a long time. So long it's like he's my left hip. But I'll keep him, he can fix anything! I have a beautiful secret garden, with everything from Plumeria, to Penta. There is nothing better than sitting out there with a good book and seeing the palms and ferns wave in the breezes, in winter, the real time to be here in Florida. I have written and published my first book in a series that takes place on Lake Champlain in Vermont. My always home. The only thing like the Green Mountains are the Great Smokey's, and a little town called Bryson City, NC. My next home, hopefully!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Daddy Loves Everything About His Little Girl!


Can you see three animals in this picture?


Hi everyone, Funny Commentsj
just wanted to make you laugh and remember when your kids were this young.
I laughed at this one. I could just as easily done it. And yes, ugh!
But daddy loves his little girl and he never woulda thought it!

This one is for everyone who...
a) has kids
b) had kids
c) was a kid
d) knows a kid
e) is going to have kids.
I guess that means all of us!!



DADDY'S GONNA EAT YOUR FINGERS

I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a

wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, 'Daddy, look at this' ,

and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said ,
'Daddy's gonna eat your fingers,' pretending to eat them.

I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed

staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, 'What's wrong, honey?'

She replied,
'What happened to my booger?'

If that ain't unconditional love, I don't know what is!
Hope you laughed. That's the idea.




Funny CommentsFunny Comments

I couldn't resist.

I wish you all have your dreams come true and you are able to smile through what it takes to get there!


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Saturday, April 10, 2010

Rules to Live By




Elderly Comments

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Marijuana'.
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9.
Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

14.
PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

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Saturday, April 3, 2010

Yes, I Love Funny Stories! And This Is Funny!

Funny Comments

ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!


Funny Comments
Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.

The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution: there is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace... The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.

I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!


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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My New Outlook On Life

Funny Comments

The first thing you have to do is remove all negativity from your mind. Yep, every bit of it. Even if it ain't yours let it go!

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Avoid things that confuse you.

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Share good fortune with your friends.

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Heed the warning signs.

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Be courageous and don't be afraid to try new things.

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Enjoy your friends.

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Be kind and life will be kind to you.

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Remember, you make your own happiness! But, you can make those around you happy. Oh and dance while you still can!

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Saturday, February 27, 2010

Friends. What would we do without them.

Ah yes, today I write about friends. A friend will always be there for you.

Friends Comments
A friend doesn't care what you look like.

Friends CommentsFriends make you laugh.


Friends CommentsFriends CommentsFriends Comments
Friends mean everything.

Friends Comments
AR&T love you.
My best friend died recently of brain cancer and my heart broke. All I have now is memories and thoughts of what might be, that never will.
She was proud. I wonder if it had to do with her Indian heritage. She was strong and she was weak too. Gosh I miss her.

Friends CommentsPeggy and me. But I have made a lot of friends through writing. Publishing a book gave me so much more than a book. It gave me a new outlook on life. Because now I have so many new friends my heart is overwhelmed. And I thank the powers that are every day for this new gift. Love you guys. Each and every one of you.

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Sunday, February 21, 2010

Laugh and You'll Write Better!

Funny Comments
So are you ready for a little chuckle. A touch of humor?


So how is your sense of humor?

THE
> OLD MOTOR
> The marriage of an 80 year old man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the
> town.
>
> After being married a year, the couple went to the
> hospital for the birth
> of their first child.
>
> The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to
> congratulate the old
> gentleman and said,
>
> 'This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?'
>
> The old man grinned and said, 'You got to keep the old
> motor running.'
>
> The following year, the couple returned to the
> hospital for the birth of
> their second child.
>
> The same nurse was attending the delivery
> and again went out to
> congratulate the old gentleman.
>
> She said, 'Sir, you are something! How do you manage
> it?'
>
> The old man grinned and said, 'You gotta keep the old
> motor running.'
>
> A year later, the couple returned to the hospital for the
> birth of their third
> child.
>
> The same nurse was there for this birth also and, after the
> delivery, she once
> again approached the old gentleman, smiled, and said,
> 'Well, you surely are
> something awesome! How do you do it?'
>
> The old man replied, 'It's like I've told you
> before, you gotta keep the old
> motor running.'
>
> The nurse, still smiling, patted him on the back and said:
> Well, I guess it's
> time to change the oil. This one is black!'

Funny Comments
One last thought, take it to the bank.

Funny Comments

One for each of you who comments! Choose by first in line.

Sexy Men Comments

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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Do You Drink?

Alcohol Comments

Who doesn't come home from a hard day at work and want to sit down to a cold one?
Alcohol Comments

Maybe you like something a bit stronger?

Alcohol Comments

Although I suggest if you are going to have more than a few do it at home, or this could you.

Alcohol Comments

Or this...shameful!

Alcohol Comments

You'd be surprised at who likes a drink or two.

Alcohol Comments

You go out to meet someone and hope for the best.

Sexy Men Comments

Alcohol Comments

Just remember you could end up like this.

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